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I’m always paying attention to patterns and last month I noticed one of mine that I’m embarrassed to confess… but I will!
Every time I travel I take unfinished business with me… What exactly do I mean?
Somewhere in my carry-on or purse you can find a little pile of:
- A few post-its with reminders of things to do (more like things I haven’t done) …
- Some personal bills or insurance claims I have to review or submit…
- The preview of this past school-year photos which I haven’t bought for my daughters yet (and I’m not sure I still can)…
- And a reminder to write my monthly newsletter (which none of you got in July because I gave myself permission to take a vacation).
Somehow, I keep thinking that my trip should or will allow for me to catch up with life.
Spoiler alert: it doesn’t…
So let’s map this pattern out:
Ok, and now that you know the inner workings of my anxious mind, how might this be relevant to you?
I realized this same pattern applies in relationships (which is another topic I’m always thinking about)!
What? How??
We all have emotional baggage and automatic behaviors (unfishined business) and we bring these into our relationships (trips), hoping they will get sorted out by nature of a different setting or person (free time/magic) but then it doesn’t just get taken care of and all of a sudden we notice “oops, the same thing happens over and over again!”
OMG, its true!!! And Now what?
For me, this is where therapy comes in.
- Therapy is a space to notice and understand repetitive cycles.This becomes the antidote to excuses and expectations.
- Personally and professionally I work on observing what doesn’t work, and the quiet ways our anxiety interferes with us. Understanding the facts and the emotional process is what allows us to know we have a choice and to seek informed and intentional change.
- And as if that wasn’t hard enough, the next step is to take on the challenge of changing it, which is often a slow and gruesome process. (I always do say I don’t really “sell” and attractive product hahaha).
I have a quick trip coming up in September and although I assure you no amount of time will ever end my to do list, I will not be bringing unfinished business with me… Just typing this promise on my computer makes my stomach turn with discomfort but no one ever grew or improved sitting in their comfort zone!
What emotional baggage are you trying to leave behind??? Yeii to traveling with a carry-on
Happy end of summer to you all…
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